I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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