His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we're making bets on your personal life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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