Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
