he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
