Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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