I just saw a hot homeless man
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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