Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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