Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
