Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
