office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
