absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
