ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
