clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
