which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
