I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
