So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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