Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
