so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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