Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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