What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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