real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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