If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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