there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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