I wanna passion pit in your ass
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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