Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These tits shall not be calmed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
