I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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