All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
