"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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