hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
