Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
