I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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