I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
did i just pee glitter
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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