like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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