TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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