It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
