the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
