i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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