I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
