it's too hot outside to masturbate.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
