I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
