I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
