you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
