Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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