So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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