Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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