I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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