Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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