I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
