p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
