At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
