I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
