Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
