non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
