Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I cut my penus on the lid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
