Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
